Thank You.

Thank you for accepting my flaws and loving me for who i am.

Thank you for taking care of me and always looking out for me. 

Thank you for staying up late to talk to me and make sure i'm fine when i'm down. 

Thank you for coming all the way to bring me out for dinner when i say i'm hungry. 

Thank you for spending time with me even though you're exhausted from work.

Thank you for listening to me all the time. 

Thank you for pointing out my mistakes and pushing me to do better, and at the same time pushing yourself to be better.

Thank you for accepting my past and loving me despite how hard it is to love me. 

Thank you for saying "thank you" even when i've done nothing at all. 

Thank you for coming to me and thinking of me first whether you're happy or sad. 

Thank you for opening up to me, trusting me and be honest about your deepest feelings.

Thank you for annoying me, in a good way. 

Thank you for taking what i say seriously. 

Thank you for supporting me in everything i do. 

Thank you for letting me be so comfortable around you without having to worry about anything.

Thank you for including me in everything you do. 

Thank you for being protective over me. 

Thank you for all the little things you do for me, like the time you brought your sweater for me even though i didn't ask for it in case i was cold during the movie, the time you willingly drove me around when i needed to run errrands, or the time you told me to wear your slippers so you could dry my shoes that were soaking wet from the rain, and so many more. 

Thank you for reminding me how much i mean to you everyday. 

Thank you for letting me know i deserve to be loved wholeheartedly no matter how broken i am. 

Lessons.

Hello 2016.

Third month into the new year and i've just only found time to blog (well, i'm supposed to be doing research for my assignment now but oh well). Soooo many things happened in the past few months i don't even know where to start or what to blog about. Let's see hmm...

Life's good, i guess. I can't say it's good like, awesome, but i guess over the years, i've learnt that life isn't perfect after all and all the ups and downs are what make life more interesting. Especially since i've had pretty bad life experiences before and i've been hurt deeply, i would say i'm appreciating life and people better now. The saying that, God will not give you something you can't handle can be applied to me and i believe God has the perfect plans for me in my life. Even though the past comes back to me and haunts me once in awhile now, but it has taught me more than just the pain i've been through. I'm not going to deny that my past is affecting me in both good and bad ways, but it has shaped me into the person i am now. I guess i love better right now, i've learned to appreciate people around me, be it my good friends or family. Yes, once in awhile i get emotional because the insecurities in me get to me and i get scared to trust people again. But because of that, i know who are the ones worth fighting for. To be honest, it's really tough fighting the demons in you especially when it keeps bringing you down. However, people around me have shown great love and care towards me despite my shortcomings, and these are the people i would fight my insecurities for. It's not easy, really, especially when you've been hurt so badly previously. But i'm trying my best. I'm giving my all to the ones i love and care for. It might not be much to them, but to me, it takes a great effort and courage to be able to push away my insecurities and to trust people again. I wouldn't say i'm doing a very good job in it, but slowly and surely, my past won't come back to me any more. One day, i'll stop waking up crying from nightmares and smile again, because the world is beautiful.

It's just one of those nights where i can't control my emotions and all i can do is cry.

Haven't felt this way in a while, but i guess everyone goes through this and sometimes, all you need is to cry out loud to let go of what's bringing your down on the inside. While i was driving home just now, i couldn't hold on to my tears any more and broke down. 

Too many times, i've pushed God away, but He's still there, never left. The thought of this just made me cry even more. I felt like i do not deserve all these. Everything i've achieved and have right now, it's all because of Him. Honestly, i haven't done enough to get what i have right now. But He loves me so much He's granted me with whatever i have right now. A comfortable home where i do not have to worry about food supply, clothes to keep me warm, friends where i can share things and hang around with, opportunities to achieve my dreams because He knows how much i want this, and so many more. But what have i done for Him? Nothing, to be honest. Again and again i fail Him, but because His love is so great, He forgives me each time. I've said sorry many times but repeat the same mistakes. What did i ever do to deserve His love? 

I've strayed so much but He never gave up on me. Nobody, i repeat, NOBODY, in this world would love me as much as He does. Not even my parents. Because that's how great our God is. His love is everlasting and unconditional. Even if we've failed Him many times. Yeah, i need to keep this in mind and always remind myself that no one in this universe could love me like my God does. 

Against All Odds

Nothing is more depressing than watching your favourite team lose every week. They said every club has their tough times and i guess this is ours. It's difficult to accept the fact that this is our worst start to a season especially after winning last season.

However, it is during hard time we know who the true fans are. Yes, it is not easy to watch your team go through hardship like this, but what's important is the fans who still stick with the team. We've done this and i believe we can come back and do it again, like how we did in the Champions League three years ago. As a fan, we should not lose hope and have faith.

Watching this still gives me goosebumps all over and brings me to tears although it has been three years.

Once a blue, always a blue!

rest in peace.

I remember clearly coming back from school to find out my dad was gone five years ago. When i got home, no one was home except for one of mom's close friends who told me that he has left us. The first thing that came into my mind was, yeah, i expected that. And i responded with "ok". I went upstairs straight into my room to get ready to leave the house with mom's friend. The moment i opened my wardrobe, tears started flowing down my cheeks uncontrollably.

All sorts of thoughts were running through my head. Flashbacks, especially. And at the moment, i realised, I'd never see him again. I'd never be able to play the piano with him. I'd never be able to celebrate birthdays with him. I'd never walk down the aisle with him by my side. And most importantly, i'd never get to call him daddy again.

This morning, i woke up to the news that my best friend has lost his father. I couldn't help but teared as i was typing my message to him. Tried calling him but i guess he was busy so i didn't want to disturb. Even though i didn't get to talk to him, but i could strongly feel his pain. It reminded me of the time my dad left. Wish i could do something for him.

Stay strong, dear friend. I believe he's in a better place now.